The Poof and the Woww Factor

If you don’t know me on a personal level, to give you an insight to the “real me” it’s fair to say that I’m a reality tv junkie. All bets were off when MTV created the show “Jersey Shore“. I don’t know why I became slightly obsessed with this show; the cast members are chauvinistic, sloppy and all over the place, which might just be the reason I enjoy watching it so much. Who doesn’t like to wind down from the day with a glass of wine, a Carol Shield’s book with dinner and a little Jersey Shore to end the evening. I’m really just a simple kind of girl.

When we all heard that Snooki wrote a book, titled “A Shore Thing“, we all cringed, but as a dedicated viewer, I had to read it. It was interesting, to say the least. However, I wasn’t expecting a Pulitzer Prize winning novel by any means. We all heard the reviews, we all laughed. The novel is essentially the life that Snooki leads each day on the Shore with her best friend (who is said to be her fellow castmate JWoww). They drink, they look for “gorilla juice heads”, their words, not mine. This is the story of pint size Gia and her cousin Bella. Gia works at a tan salon and Bella works at a gym; typical. The novel is honestly nothing to write home about and as many pages as I marked with post its with hilarious quotes, there were none that seemed appropriate to share. All things considered, I laughed and enjoyed it as much as I would at 10pm on a “Jersday”.

After reading this laugh out loud novel, I didn’t see myself buying the new JWoww book in stores, titled “The Rules according to JWoww“. I figured my inner guidette was best revealed at home behind closed doors. That was until I heard that JWoww was coming to Toronto to sign copies of her new book. This is one of the things I love about living in a big city like Toronto, for $19.99 (the cost of the book) I can have a fun celebrity encounter and have an excuse to read yet another Jersey Shore inspired book. I talked one of my fellow Jersey Shore watchers and a friend/colleague into standing in line with me for an 1 hour and 15 minutes to meet the one of a kind JWoww and have her sign my book in a pink sharpie pen. After realizing that we were not allowed to leave the line to use the washroom or to get a coffee at Starbucks upstairs in the Eaton centre Indigo, it was quickly established that I owe my lovely friend Jane a $7.00 latte anytime she wants one and the next time she wants to see anyone, I’m required to stand in line with no complaints and a smile on my face, as she did so graciously 🙂

I finished JWoww’s book the other night and I can’t say that I was overly moved by any of the “advice” given in the book, but I did find out new and innovative ways to get rid of orange hands after a spray on tan (apply toothpaste). There were rules that covered a range of topics; dating, relationships, break-ups and sex. All topics that I’ve discussed with friends over many a cocktail, but it was funny in parts, especially when she said the following sentences,

You may be sporting the Ladies to show you’re a  powerful, sexy, confident woman, but men are not going to necessarily get that message. All they’re probably thinking is, ‘How do I get me some of that?’ So be careful how much of your assets you air in public. You want to look sexy, not slutty. Sometimes I see chicks who would probably be more covered up wearing two Band-Aids. I don’t care how proud you are of your twins, if your cup runneth over… it’s too much.

*clearing throat* JWoww, isn’t this the pot calling the kettle black? Case in point:

Please don’t beat me up now that we’ve met and we’re friends! One more quick sidenote, the 85 minutes that Jane and I spent in lineup waiting to meet JWoww, a young 14, maybe 15-year-old girl was behind us. A fair warning to parents (especially this innocent girls parents) if your child has to wake up at 6am and still has math homework, then they should not be purchasing or reading this novel.

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2 thoughts on “The Poof and the Woww Factor

  1. BoozyLady says:

    Love it! Your post was like waching a Jersey Shore clip on youtube, without the worry that someone might come up behind me and catch me. And I actually feel like I learned something, now I gotta go stock up on toothpaste…

  2. Kari says:

    I love the Jerz because it’s ridiculous reality TV but they don’t take themselves seriously AT ALL, unlike other reality shows where all the ridiculous folks actually think they’re the most important people ever (read: Real Housewives). But I commend you for actually making your way through BOTH of these. I would not be able to do it. I don’t think I can dedicate more than 42 min a week to them.

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