Review: The Voice Inside my Head – Emma Forrest

Emma Forrest’s, “Your Voice in my Head” is a story of depression. From the clip you’ll find on this link you can see that she originally set out to write a story about her psychiatrist Dr. Rosecan and his life, what she ended up with as a final product is an entirely different story. The core of the story still very much involves the feelings of depression, but it also weaves in a story of addiction and relationships. After finishing this memoir I’ve spent the last couple of days talking it up to my friends and family, not because it was the best book I’ve ever read, but because it was filled with a lot of celebrity gossip. After a few names were dropped, like Brad Pitt and Heath Ledger, I decided I had to run a google search on this chick. Little did I know that she was the ex-girlfriend of resident bad boy Colin Farrell – lucky girl… well kind of, you kind of have to read her story.

Emma Forrest’s story starts off in New York City where after a failed suicide attempt she reaches out for psychiatric help and that is when we’re introduced to Dr. Rosecan. A man who Forrest openly states, “saved her life”. She shares with her readers many sessions where she is vulnerable and fragile, while explaining how Dr. Rosecan helps to clarify things and makes her look at things a little differently. To give you an example of her thoughts and feelings during this time, I wanted to share this exert with you:

Which comes first, looking at yourself with burst blood vessels on your eyes and vomit in your hair and having to cut yourself because you’re so ugly? Or eating everything in the cupboard to try and hold down how ugly the cutting has mad you? It is madness. And if you don’t know who you are, or if your real self has drifted away from you with the undertow, madness at least gives you an identity. It’s the same ith self-loathing. You’re probably just normal and normal looking but that’s not a real identity, not the way ugliness is. Normality, just accepting that you’re probably normal looking, lacks the force field shield of self-disgust. If you don’t know who you are, madness gives you something to believe in.

When Dr. Rosecan dies suddenly and hasn’t shared with any of his patients that he was battling cancer, Emma feels lost and a little betrayed; however, she reaches out to fellow patients to form a small fan base for her beloved psychiatrist. Many of Dr. Rosecan’s patients gladly share their thoughts and experiences, which ultimately ended up in Emma’s memoir.

Searching for clarity and in the process of trying to overcome feelings of self mutilation, Emma continues to throw herself into relationships. Enter in “GH”, also known as Colin Farrell. We’re introduced to a person that Emma falls madly in love with, a person that is madly in love with her. They plan a future together and GH starts to replace the enormous loss of Dr. Rosecan for Emma. He shows her that there is a reason for living and a purpose in life. He helps her to grow. Then after creating a home together, spending quality time with the parentals, GH decides that he no longer wants to be in the relationship anymore. **Hey – I’m not giving any spoilers, you can tell by one quick google search that they are no longer a couple** Emma is then forced to try to make sense of everything without the help of Dr. Rosecan.

Her ability to find clarity and focus is what this story is all about and although Dr. Rosecan’s life is cut short and GH chose to  no longer be present in her life, she ends up coming to some surprising conclusions.

The memoir was a journey of depression and a coming of age story that I throughly enjoyed. Her ability to share raw and tough issues is what made her story so authentic and easy to relate to. She’s a real talent and I look forward to reading her other work and her blog.

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