Review: Undateable – Ellen Rakieten and Anne Coyle

If the cover of “Undateable” doesn’t give you a hint about what this book is about, the subtitle certainly will give it away, “311 Things Guys do that Guarantee they won’t be dating or having sex

Buckle in for laugh out loud funny, because I guarantee you that you’ll constantly find yourself “OMG I so know that guy”! The authors mission,

To provide the never before revealed “list”, a brutally honest collection of the things that men do to turn women off

The humourous book is broken down into three sections, what not to wear, what not to do and what not to say. It gives men a visual guide in each section and even provides a rating system about what’s kind of bad, a.k.a the red flag alert to the skull and bones symbol symbolizing the kiss of death. Both authors provide some assistance for the early signs of trouble, but usually all hope is lost when the comb over look is happening on a day-to-day basis.

I wanted to include some of my personal favorites from each section:

What Not to Wear

What Not to Say
Eminem Speak. Unfortunately, in the past I’ve had to deal with this problem. Described by the authors, Eminem Speak is,

It’s the white guy who desperately wants to be a black rapper, so he uses terms like “sup”, “lil bro”, “true dat”, “wit da”, “holla”, and “I’s awl abou da benjamins, baby”. He calls his friends his “homeys” and “dawg”, and likes to imagine that he spends his time “poppin’ caps” (shooting a gun) and “shakin’ the bustas off (outrunning the police), but of course, he does none of these things.

What Not to Do
Use a Curling Iron or Flat Iron. Come on guys, that’s just weird and as the authors state, “should only be used on women”. At all times.

A lot of the novel is in good humor and should be shared with men for a couple of tips about their overall appearance and behavior. I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t learn a couple of tips, like how it’s not very cool to saying “starving like marvin” or “cool beans”. Sadly, both sayings seem to be a regular part of my vocabulary for some reason. The authors do apologize in the beginning if they come off as arrogant, but I don’t think they do at all, I think it’s a great collection of things we women have deemed as deal breakers.

Men: It’s definitely worth the read. I promise you that you’ll get a couple pointers
Women: Please read from front to back with your girlfriends and a cocktail

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6 thoughts on “Review: Undateable – Ellen Rakieten and Anne Coyle

  1. Nise' says:

    I swear the guy pictured on the cover with the facial hair is my brother! LOL He’s single at the moment.
    Great review.

    Stopping by from The Hop.

  2. Kim (Queen Bee) says:

    I think this sounds hilarious, if it weren’t probably so pathetic as well. I’ve been married 30+ years, so I’m sure the whole single-dating scene is VERY different now.

    P.S. just letting you know I spotlighted your blog with an award — just because — stop on by.

  3. Josette says:

    Haha! What a book! I’d love to read it and probably share it with some guy friends. We’d have a good time laughing at the tips in it.

    Thanks for posting some examples from the book! 🙂

  4. Eugene Phelan says:

    The book was hysterical; loaded with laughs.

    The page that gave me the biggest belly laugh was the last page in the book. Here are these two authors advising men on NOT being so into themslves (And RIGHTLY so). That they should not be so self absorbed, narscissistic, etc, etc so on.

    And then on the last page we are told that Ellen Rakieten is President of ELLEN RAKIETEN Entertainment and Anne Coyle is President and owner of ANNE COYLE Interiors!

    The biggest turnoffs?

    Imagine being at a party and people are telling others what they do?

    “I am Johnny Jones and President and CEO of the Johnny Jones Co.”

    “Really? I’m Dash Riprock and I’m President and CEO of the Dash Riprock Company”

    So on and so forth. They spend pages and pages giving belly laughs on Self Absorbed behavior, then on the last page, they let the cat out of the bag!

    They are EXPERTS on Self Absorption and it truly takes one to know one.

    However, they will always be dateable because they will fit in sooooo well with all the self absorbed males out there!

    A VERY funny book. Especially the last page!

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